Bamboo

Mother left me
A little boy
To make sense
Of my own life.
She says it was
To save me.
I left you
(A little too late)
To make sense
Of my own life.
My krishna says,
And so saved you.

What wisdom have you gained
Standing tall and alone
A bamboo amidst skyscrapers
Full of forced indifference
And exotic irresistible charm
Aimed only at strangers
Who will wage wars.
Your kindness and intelligence
Will make you a god.
But what wisdom have you gained
After abandoning love, krishna?

Hollowed bamboo sways
even in a breeze.

Inspired by this.

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Colours

I only ever wear colours
That remind me of krishna.
Not for me the bright yellow,
Or the festive pink.
No soothing blues and refreshing greens for me.
Nor the seduction of crimson.

I wear blue of midnight
The stars enveloped in the colour.
Too struck by grief to even twinkle.
The sky silent, saying nothing
Saying only:
Be still. Soldier on.

I wear grey of thunderclouds
The colour dull, wan, tired,
Pregnant with rain, filled with heaviness
The clouds flit by, saying nothing.
Saying only:
This too shall pass.

I wear green of sage
The colour of summer fading.
Love too is seasonal. Nothing lasts.
The sage only nods. Says nothing.
Saying only:
Hope. Hope. Hope.

I wear white of the sea foam.
The colour of light and movement.
The sea foam forms and bursts
Too busy to say anything
Only forming and dying:
Move on. Move on.

I wear black, the colour of krishna’s knees.
In black, I become krishna – stainless and particular.
Krishna is silent. He says nothing.
Invincible, I don’t need words.
I only love.
Even in his silence, there is love.

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Discord

My krishna sulks in a corner.
His lips a disapproving horizon
His hair curled darkly like a torrential downpour
clouding overhead.
Neither words nor rain
Does krishna shower
When he sulks this way in a corner.

A mother, I smile
Playfully pinch his swollen cheek
Ruffle his curled hair.
Krishna only sulks.

A lover, I weave
Rainbows of flowers with desire
String the garland around his neck
Krishna only sulks.

A friend, I frown
Make the sun shine red.
Burn our skin in heat.
Krishna only sulks.

A wife, I weep
My tears form the ocean
Waves crash in despair.
Krishna only sulks.

The elements combine
Mother. Lover. Friend. Wife.
I become me.
And even as Krishna sulks
The anger dissolves
Ice-cold rage pours on me
In cacophony and confusion.
Together, we create discord.
I lose myself.
Krishna loses me.

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Laughter

I wonder what a laugh weighs.
If laughter lightens
Simply because it is shared.
Earlier, I laughed alone
Thinking of you.
Would you chortle cleverly
Or throw your head back
and laugh?
Even laughter began
to weigh me down.
Today, I merely smile
And hear your chuckle.
My smile widens
And my heart sings, krishna.
Laughter
When shared with you
Makes me feel lighter.
Even laughter is precious
When shared with you.

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Sameness

Decades go by trying
To understand twilight
Is it light or is it night?

A lone star twinkles
The sky deepens azure to navy
I wait for your day to be done.

My night begins.
I cross the same streets
Under the same stars.

I think the same thoughts.
Flowers, fragrance, food.
I even rearrange furniture.

When krishna comes
When krishna speaks
When krishna…

Light ends; night begins.
In the darkness
Only my eyes are lit.

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Waves

Let go let go let go
The waves sing
Crashing
Hopes against grey rocks.

Move on move on move on
The waves recede
Dissolving
Sand under my cringing feet.

Let go let go let go.
The waves smirk
Mocking
My pitiable lament for krishna.

Move on move on move on
The waves dance
Taunting
This stubborn belief in krishna.

But krishna lets go, moves on,
Steaming waves into rain clouds
Pouring love on unsuspecting hearts
In faraway fertile lands.

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Moon

The walls must have shrunk.
Because everywhere I go
The moon follows.

A dream must have begun.
Because every time I sleep
The hopes emerge.

If a moon can loom large
And shine like the sun
And follow us behind walls,
Your words can slowly sound
And gush like the rain
And soak me in emotion again, krishna.

The moon follows,
Everywhere I go.

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