Recently, some one told me that people I don’t even know from my previous place of work apparently discuss me. In detail. Fascinating. I thought I was history as far as that place was concerned; turns out I’m a celebrity. Even after I got away.
My darlings/fans, if you are reading this post, then let me tell you once and for all that were there any pills you could take that would make you gloriously thin, then some pharmaceutical company would be laughing all the way to the bank. I’m sorry to take away hope from your life but the only way to lose weight is to eat healthy and exercise.
And please don’t worry that I am not yet married. I am fine without a man. I am happy without matrimony. Very happy. In fact, I am absolutely fabulous. If you don’t believe me, log on to my Facebook profile.
And please don’t try to guess which of my friends are gay and whom I’m sleeping with.
Then there are people who ought to know better who will just butt in when not required and try and cause tension headaches – because.
Well, to all of you, here’s a message – butt out or beware. And instead of fictionalizing someone else’s life, dramatize your own. And for fuck’s sake, get yourself a dildo, and get some at least that way.
And for the others, who love me; I’ll write a less belligerent post soon. 🙂 And this isn’t for you.