Another one bites the dust

Today is not a very creative day. And I was hoping it would be that. Today is mostly a combative day. I’m not really a morning person, waking up at 6 am and getting lectured on the purpose of my life from a stranger is not exactly a great beginning. I was hoping mid-morning would improve my mood and the day. But turns out, not really. When it comes to rightful wrath and self-righteous indignation I’m really ever ready to hurl abuse.

So there was this guy I friended on Facebook. Not someone I’ve met personally, but he came with a non-sleazy friend request and we also had common friends. Sreedhar Rao is a Kannadiga fellow, balding and interested in photography. And quite harmless until recently when I’ve decided to let the whole world know exactly what I’m all about and revoked privacy settings at least for my own wall-posts. Because hell, I do need to improve readership on my blog.

He pissed me off yesterday by needlessly calling me ‘Bleddy Bhumika’ and totally out-of-context. But being friendly and forgiving I wrote out a cheery ‘up yours’ and forgot about the whole episode.

Today he tried to help me solve my yoga/dance class dilemma by suggesting I learn how to swim. Clearly unaware of the fact that I have attended three days of swimming class and bought an equal number of swimming costumes – so hello nonsense!

I ignored this gross ignorance. After all, he wasn’t a friend and he couldn’t be expected to know. And decided to risk LC and go online again on FB.

And then this happened:

SR: hi bhumi
B: hello
SR: do u want to reduce ur weight?
B (snarling): Do you think I need to reduce my weight?
SR: 200%
B (coldly contemptuous now): Why? Are you planning on sleeping with me, darling?
SR: y girls think like that always?
B (Giving it to the geezer): Because my weight or lack of it is not your fucking concern. I didn’t ask you if you want to get a hair transplant now, did I? So if it’s all the same to you – just bugger off. And don’t dare suggest anything about anyone’s physical appearance because it is possible that the next person you suggest things to might react more unfavourably than I have. I hope I’ve made that clear. And don’t fucking ping me again, I’m sure you will understand my absolute and complete distaste in wanting to talk to you. Thank you. Have a nice day!
SR (lapsing into the vernacular): The great bhoomi, nimma jothe naanu malgoke ishta padolla (aagode illa) [The great earth, I do not wish to sleep with you (and I can’t)] as a good friend i care abt u , u need to reduce ur weight ,
B: Listen, just bugger off.
SR: bugging off   …………………………………
B: Excellent darling, thank you.
SR: bye darling. Dear what u think of ur self
B: So will you unfriend me and save yourself the humiliation of me doing it?
SR: in this birth at this age dont try yoga
B: Right, I’m going to block you. But don’t forget to continue this discussion on my blog.

And reader, I blocked him.

I do hope he takes my advice and follows this discussion on my blog. It will be fun to massacre him.

Quite cruel, I know, but I guess I lost my temper a wee bit. Sigh. C’est la vie!

And here are the fellows whom I’ve beheaded in the past over the same and such weighty matters.


About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
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8 Responses to Another one bites the dust

  1. Lakshmi says:

    Chuckle chuckle..Btw..I did it too! Defriended you know who…:)


  2. Marvin Grey says:

    I used to be online on FB chat too. I logged off once my friend’s list started to include people I did not like in school, college and work. FB should provide for individual visibility setting like on Y messenger. Like always appear invisible to so and so.

    I went to 5 swimming classes. The rest of the 5 classes got cancelled as my swim instructor was arrested for not possessing proper documents and deported. Luckily, I returned to Bangalore which is so far away from the sea and other swimmable water bodies.


    • So totally agree. I’m getting on FB chat these days because it’s easy to check if my men are online and then have the conversation on another platform. Otherwise, I never used to log in simply because there is absolutely no privacy. Any random hey-oh can say whatever he/she wants. Disgusting.

      Really, that’s pretty much been my attitude to swimming as well. And even if I am near a sea, I like lying on the sand like a burnt whale more than anything else. So there.

      I’m now convinced that we were meant to be BFF.


  3. Suresh says:

    Even to the point of being shameless, I want to know why you have blocked me.
    I don’t think, I ever insulted or asked you to reduce your weight? ( you looked almost perfect)
    I never send you any private messages and whatever I have to say, I did on your blog.
    Is it because, I love Chetan Bhagat?


  4. Sanjay says:

    Hail Bhumika….I was just waiting for something that get me really compel me to give a 5 star rating (don;t get hyped..In real world I m noone and well what the hell does my rating matter…)and here comes Bhumi with Bite my Dust..Can’t think of an more apt title…Well is it the same Bhumi who was so doubleminded on her decision.This time she is very clear and takes another decision..and stands by it..Its a perfect example what needs to be done, when people start poking their bitchy noses in others affairs and temporarily elevating their status..As u rightly said dude..mind your own f****ng business…The rightful wrath wouldn;t have come at a better time..Its nowhere close to being cruel..I guess it was kinda pracical tutorial for the man to avoid future humiliations..Bravo…Am I getting Impressed..I guess so…:-)


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