Cool

So I visited my cousin today – this is one of the good ones. Not to be confused with the other voodoo dolls. And her daughter has now joined the only company that still feels like home to me.

I was back there around 20 days ago to MC an event and everything felt just as familiar as ever. I even choked up when they played the company anthem which is surprisingly tuneful though replete with absolutely corny bilge. The security staff remembered me as did the coffee guy at the Cafe Coffee Day outlet in Food Court 1 that I swear makes the best Tropical Iceberb in all of Bangalore. Still. And there were people I hugged and others who remembered the ‘glory days’ of the Voice of Youth.

So anyway today reminded me of days spent at an Indian Multi National Company. It was not the first place I worked at. No. But it was my first full-time, non-entrepreneurial job. The sort where you take a measly pay package home every month and carry a spot of lunch in a steel container every day. And where the government soaks you nice and good and calls this day-light robbery Income Tax. That sort of thing.

And then something happened later this evening that reminded me very pissedly of my last days there.

The thing is I didn’t want to ever resign from that place. Even though I knew I was being cheated, even though the scales were falling from my eyes, I still wanted to be there. It wasn’t just a job. It was my kingdom!

And I really believed that I was contributing to something worthwhile. I played incredibly diverse roles that satisfied me creatively. And though it was all highly competitive, and we played dirty politics till kingdom come I was just having too much fun to want to leave.

I loved so many people there. And believed I was verily the darling of the sensible lot there at least.

So when the time came to leave, and I was drafting my resignation letter, I was crying and unsure. So many uncertainties lay ahead. Personally. Professionally. And I wasn’t at all convinced that I was doing the right thing.

Love, verily, blinds you to so many things. And God, I swear, I loved that place even if I bitched about it. Even if I sometimes mocked it. But it had to be done. My friends and family threatened me of dire consequences if I didn’t quit just then. Especially given that I had had the offer I had had. And my mom was unusually insistent.

And so there I was drafting that resignation entirely unsure, completely in tears and when I’d finished I sent it to my super boss (my manager’s manager) and manager.

Going by my track-record I was hoping (and my friends were dreading) that the company might just say that they want me and I’d stay on. I was sure that if they told me that they wanted me, it would prove that they weren’t really cheating me and that they loved me as much as I loved working there and all that sort of mushy nonsense no woman should feel towards any employer. And were they to do that, I knew, I wouldn’t even bargain or negotiate but stay there and grow happily, powerfully old – a force to reckon with.

I was extra imaginative those days and all these emotional scenarios took place in my head where the powers that be would finally pat my head/shoulder and say, ‘Unthinkable, you leaving.’ And I’d say, ‘Oh thank you. Of course, I won’t.’

I know. Gag-worthy.

But that same afternoon super boss replied to my mail. Though we all knew he was a man of few words, that ‘official mail’ broke even his record.

He said, ‘Cool.’

And nothing else. Absolutely nothing else. No formal salutation, no body of letter, no signature. Just ‘Cool.’

And I was out of there.

So that’s the point I wanted to make – in an emotionally distraught situation with grave repercussions, the word ‘cool’ completely and effectively ends all speculation and dialogue.

And really the only people who sounded good using the word cool was Boney M. Remember Daddy Cool? Lame, I know, and not really a great connection, but I’m not a great thinker when I’m seeing so much red that I can’t even cuss. And all I can say is ‘I am furious’ in a clipped hiss.

Here,

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About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
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4 Responses to Cool

  1. Marvin Grey says:

    Around 4+ years ago, I had to decide whether or not I should tell my reporting officer, who was also the head of the mission (Ambassador), that I need to go to India on vacation, join a college and if all goes well quit my job. I knew he would not okay accured annual leave on those circumstances. Atleast not in June/July. So, I told his second in command and the Head of Chancery. In corporate world that would be the Administration and HR department put together. He too was scared to bell his boss. But he could sanction my leave. So cool. Even then, I got my leave only in August. Joined college in annual leave, did my 1st semester exams in sick leave and when they oohed and aahed about granting me sick leave benefits, I called quits from India. I never looked back at that job or that country. Despite numerous opportunities to go back since then. About 2 years ago, they increased what was the low salary for that economy by another in 30% in an across the board pay increase and benefits. I did not look back. I only wished that the pay increase had come earlier so that it would have come handy for my college.

    It was a good job. No diplomatic immunity but people thought twice about messing around with you. I even got out of a reckless driving ticket in a neighbouring country thanks to my job. And it was for life. For the rest of my life as a clerk. I would retire as a senior clerk. I always felt I could do more. I did lot more on that job then anybody else previously or since. Infact, the post was vacant for 6 months after I left and then lapsed (the position was closed unfilled). It was the right decision for me. Maybe not for that government institution at that moment but it was large and managed with what it had. Large corporate entities are similar. Unless the whole company comes to a grinding halt, they will not miss a few people jumping off the boat. But I was important to me, to my future and I would miss not having me around.

    In large institutions and companies you will come across people, who identify with the company so much that they become a part of it. They are as unmoving as the pyramid of Giza. They are also the first ones to jump of the topmost floor when the company collapses.

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    • LOL about the suicide. Though it really is no laughing matter but I imagined some of the ‘pillars’ I do know who, believe me, will think about pushing a scapegoat (for representation only). So yes, that’s funny.

      This episode did teach me that I deserve better and definitely more. And when you don’t give me that, don’t expect me to bend over backwards and please you, or give you any sort of explanation. So I’ve stopped volunteering to do things that don’t pay me.

      Excellent decision about studying further. I admire you for it. I know it couldn’t have been easy. But it’s a great thing.

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  2. Sanjay says:

    Can’t stop to wonder at your such an innocent confession…Reminiscence is always a good exercise takes you back to some fond memories that you are used to..but hey who moved my cheese. Being Human we are evolving constantly and as change is the only constant thing we are duty bound to change. It may not be for the good but then again along with bouquets comes brickbats too..I am happy that you took a decision but felt a little awkward that you were so confused about it. Be confident and be proud of what you are..And get rid of the outdated adjectives aka guilty…Being the successors of the Humans that committed cardinal sins, we are bound to do it…but then who doesn’t…As Expectation is the root cause of all evil. Its impossible to get rid of it but at least we can try to minimize it,,Leaving job was a great decision (There is nothing called good or bad decision,you just have to persist on what you choose),similar one I took a little time back and don;t give a f**k whether anybody misses u or not..Just live your life..Its anyway too short to think like this..Thanx for the reference to Bonney M. Heard him after a long time..Took me into Reminiscence…

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