Ovary Stripe

Dear Nagumomo,

You know I’m pissed with you. And with good reason. You fucked up pretty bad and try as I might I can’t get past your asinine behaviour.

But we go back a long way, you and I.

From the time at age 3 I became madly obsessed with loving you because that meant I got to wear red kumkum and bangles and feel important moving the agarbathi on one of your many faces to the recent past where I actually fasted and gave up chicken and beer because I thought so naïvely that you will see the error of your ways and grant me what I most wanted.

Well you did and you didn’t.

And this high-handedness, smug superiority, and willful ambiguity of yours is what gets me so mad.

Do you know what? This May I will be 30 – that’s officially like half my life over right there. And I just realised the magnitude of that. I mean I sort of vaguely knew that age is catching on and goodness-so-wise-I-am-getting-to-be and all that. But bang in the middle of the continuum that my life is thanks to insomnia, it struck me that ‘Guess what, I’m old now and so I can do pretty nearly anything I want to do.’

So I thought I’ll write to you (puerile may be, but you started it) where the entire world can read about what an arse you really are. And no, don’t get your hopes up. I’m not kissing your hallowed ring and making it up to you. Yet.

I’ll be brief.

If this were a Bollywood production I’d be dressed in a white sari ringing the bells of your house till kingdom come and it would be all stormy and wild like my hair. And I’d have great make-up on and look strong and vulnerable at the same time. And you’d look like a bloody fool just standing there and watching, till of course you’d go ahead and show me a miracle. And be a hero and get venerated all over again.

So you fucked up the first take. Never mind, this is your second take. Don’t fuck this. You know what I’m talking about. You cannot show me something that reinstated my faith in love and purity of relationships only to fuck it up later on. Don’t you dare break my family. I trust you to behave. And not make me feel like a depraved lunatic, a depressed whore. So give my lovers a bloody buggering break. And the obligatory miracle. And that’s all. Thank you.

P. S. It would help if you’d send some sleep my way too. Nonsense!

P. P. S. I won’t sign off because a suitable signature is yet to be discovered and I can’t do that when I haven’t slept in 30 days thanks to you.

P. P. P. S Good going on helping me make up my mind on the job thing. Now it better be fun and make me happy even if it doesn’t really make me very rich. You couldn’t let me have it all even there, could you? Also notice how I give credit where it is due?

Dear readers,

Sorry about getting all epistolary on you. But you know how it is, sometimes, these things ought to be done. Like that.

Skip to this song if you will. Bloody brilliant. And as trippy as I am feeling right now.


About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
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10 Responses to Ovary Stripe

  1. freethan says:

    Ovary stripe, indeed.


  2. Sanjay says:

    Well..Its just that poor god (I will wait till my wish not to come true to refer them as you have..) had to take the wrath of my dear Bhumi..Whats great thing about it is that you are findin the outlet to the deep hidden wrath..go on girl..do it..It will help you in longer term and help u sleep..And god as forgiving as he is won;t take it against you.See the bigger frame,indirectly he is helping you…
    Both of us would be touching 30 at nearly the same time, but is 30 old…hello….lol….and were you waiting for being old to do things that you always wanted to do…wow BHumi is back again…Money can never buy u happiness..an old adage but so true..so be happy..money has absolutely no corelation with it..
    Don;t want to sound preachy but Go live ur life girl…and hell with the world..
    You have this ability of adding some really apt and nice music with the post everytime…Intersting..:-).


    • Welcome to the boudoir. But really what psycho-babble is this, darling? I’m glad you find it interesting though. And good on you if you are turning 30 as well. Yes, the music is important always. And this isn’t any song. Anyway, happy reading.


  3. It is good to give it to the deities now and then. Lightens our baggage. And who knows, they might be in a good mood to listen.

    Aaah… to be 30 again. It was a good year. Today, I had a young gym instructor ask me thrice if I was married. He did not believe me the first two times.

    Not being a religious man, I have probably visited temples only 6-8 times in the whole of 2010. My faith is very strong though. Infact, I plan that most of my temple visits in 2011 will mostly be to my old pal Ganesha and gym inspiration Hanuman. Both single and animal avatars wont be much of help but they will listen and understand.


  4. Rati says:

    Bhu, why the diatribe? Life begins at 30. Trust me, living far away from India and Indians I have seen women who are 50 behave like 20 year olds. Age and what one should do by that age only lives in the Indian mind.
    Break free!
    P.S. Loved the big big words in the post!


    • Rati, you nonsense woman, you are truly living in the American bubble and have forgotten all about me! Me! Me! Me! Have you ever seen me worrying about age? Why would I start now?
      Also life begins at 40. Intense sex drive women have then.
      And go comment on the post you made me write.
      P. S. Don’t forget to use big big words. I don’t understand small words. 🙂


  5. Pingback: The Prayer Room | Bhumika's Boudoir

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