Giving up!

I’m this close to killing myself. Of course I won’t because what if the world I die and go to is full of herpes infections and has no way out!

But yes, cold sores that are fairly common is an uncommon, unbearable malady when it comes to me because of all my other health complications. It’s not just like an annoying pimple on my lips but it festers and looks like something a bad witch has hexed upon me. And then I can’t eat, talk, or do anything. And I lose energy, I lose every shred of positivity that I am trying to bring about in my life. It’s the last straw. I have borne all sorts of pain in the past three years but every time this happens, I begin to feel suicidal.

And this happens to me two days after staring a new job! Why?

So in my head, I have finally kissed new job, and the hope of ever getting better and leading a normal life, goodbye. And that’s all.

And this is another thing you owe me.

So like that. Put me in that hospice already, as the husband says.


About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
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7 Responses to Giving up!

  1. Lakshmi says:

    Bhumi…stop! U are so much better than that inspiration actually.Now smile and this too shall pass…:)


  2. Marvin Grey says:

    As bad as cold sores usually are, it is unfortunate that it happened this close to start of your new job. Timing is not in our hands. But time gone since it started, a thankful non-working weekend and the fact that it is the 3rd time… should hopefully ensure you are back to work quickly. All planned weekend activities post the new job can be saved up and splurged in one humongous weekend. It would ofcourse include – lots of friends, travel, liquor (you wont drive), a pub which plays your kind of music, a DJ who knows volume should allow patrons to talk, dancing, good food, no one goes home at 1am and the odd yobos along the way like in next table for good characters for the blog. These are again a list of what it includes and not the whole program.


    • You! I think one of the most sensible things I’ve done is to take you on as BFF on this very blog. Thank you. I thought third time would be less painful too but it’s not. And it’s like some sort of enforced Vipasana. But this will pass. And when I’m back to the real world, oh how I will be back with all that you have outlined in the program and more. Thank you.


  3. GK says:

    You will bounce to your bouncy annoying self soon. This is guaranteed. So now try and get some rest.


    • GK, bitch, don’t think I missed the message of the bounce. Shit! Can’t even laugh. But yes, I have to become annoying soon. And leave the bounce on so you can tag yourself on them whenever and wherever you like. But you have to get out of this boob fixation, darling Husband X. 🙂


  4. Pingback: Sawadee Kha – Part 1 | Bhumika's Boudoir

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