Someone Like You

I’ll probably colour my hair red
And go to Germany
To bask in the love
of the people I adore
And then some.
But that’s too much pressure
for all of us.
It’s easier just to buy a cake.

And that’s what I was thinking
Walking on the grounds
At a flea market trying to be Goa.
And I was so afraid to look over my shoulder
I was so frightened to stare ahead.
What if I saw him?
It seemed the sort of place where I would.

And I thought of fires burning and murder.
Clytemnestra. Kannagi.

Would it have been better to have simply gone?
I could have taken the mike and sworn in church.
I could have avenged myself at the altar.
I could have cried rivers and broken a dam again.

Instead all I did was go out for dinner with family
And have a panic attack.
Was it worth it?
Is anything worth anything at all?

Feathers for a hundred bucks
That’s what they sold it for.
I was sold out for less than that.
A sari? What is that?

I carried that wooden gift
and felt the weight in my arms.
And worried about murder
And felt the pain return ten-fold.
Fingers numb but aching.

I moved it into my bag and
The shoulders began hurting,
And all the time I was laughing,
Having fun.

No one would have guessed.
Oh such an actress I am!
But I was scared
Of myself
Of what I would do if I ran into him.
I know I will never forgive
I thought I had forgotten.

And nothing happened.
I breathed like he’d asked me to
When he left me at the airport.

Oh fuck it, I’ll colour my hair
If anyone can carry a passionate red,
Then it’s me.
And I will walk in heels
And I will fly to Germany
And the breeze will tease my hair
And their hugs and love will warm me.
And I will not even remember.
And neither will I forget.

And just then I thought I saw you.
But it was only someone like you.

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About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
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4 Responses to Someone Like You

  1. Deepak Saibaba says:

    i love the last two lines. happens to the best of us… 🙂
    Dee

    Like

  2. Ch4 says:

    “Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.” Oh, how i hate to love this song and what it does to me..

    Like

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