So to-be groom’s dad gives two missed calls on my phone. I call back.
He introduces himself: I used to be a Corporate Councillor. I am looking for a bride for my son. We are very well-off. Two companies that my oldest son is taking care of. So I wanted to speak about your daughter.
I say: I am the daughter.
CC is nonplussed. Oh can I speak to.your father?
No, that’s fine. You can talk to me.
CC: So the thing is it is for my son, an engineer. He lived in Delhi all these years so we couldn’t marry him off. Or else he’d be married for at least five years now. Even so we have had many proposals. But they want to take him away to London, US, or Australia. He is not interested. And we believe in horoscopes. Please send me yours and I will send you my son’s as well.
Me: We don’t look at horoscopes.
CC: Don’t you have one?
Me: I do. I can tell you the details now.
CC: No. Mail it to me.
Me: Why don’t you send me a mail and I will respond to that?
CC: Is it a real horoscope? (What other type is there?)
Me: I think so. Or I can give you the details and you can get one created.
CC: No. The thing is I will be showing it to very old and reputed astrologers in Bangalore. It is easy if we have it created already. They will just match it.
Me: Like I said it doesn’t matter to me. Us.
CC: It is like this, we just want to do things the proper way, the right way. It is part of our tradition the way marriages are conducted. We only want three things – the horoscopes must match, the boy and girl should like each other. And then they must be from families with good background and must make both families proud by living in harmony all their lives.
And here I laughed.
CC nonplussed again. What?
Me: It is just that every one seems to want the same thing.
CC: Yes. So are you a Smartha Brahmin?
Me: My mom is. My dad is from Mangalore.
CC: Okay. Where do you stay?
Me: Whitefield.
CC (surely imagining us to be the owners of Prestige Ozone or Palm Meadows and so seeing that good background is checked): Good. Very good. So give me your email id.
And just as I am rattling it off, “Mangalore means, what is your dad’s caste?”
Me: He is a Shetty.
CC: Veg or…
Me: Non vegetarian. My mom is a Brahmin. She does not eat meat. But dad and I do. (Which is now a lie as I am on Satvik diet and I hardly eat cooked veggies much less meat).
CC: Oh. We are pure vegetarians. I will see if any of my friends are looking for a bride. Don’t worry.
Me: No problem.


About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
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5 Responses to Politickle

  1. Ch4 says:

    A plague upon them!


  2. Lol! And it’s that time of year again! Bride hunting season. Hurrah!

    This reminds me of this pompous arse I dated briefly who said, “How can you claim to be compassionate when the breath you take is laden with the stench of the life you just extinguished to satiate your olfactory and gustatory senses.”

    Why are non-veggies so discriminated against, anyway?


    • ch4 says:

      As i mentioned before, ‘A plague upon them!’


    • I’m sure you dumped him just for his penchant for using ‘big’ ‘big’ words as they say.

      I don’t really know why non-vegetarians are discriminated against.

      I bet CC took plenty of bribes in his time and so the very well-off and the two factories and what not. So I’d hate to be a part of a family that eats money. I mean, seriously, have you seen the many hands it passes? Gross.


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