Adam’s Curse

Listen, I have real relationships, I argued with myself. The sort that allows you to fight with your best friends loudly enough to startle the neighbours; intense enough to cry and laugh at the same time in front of them. And do you know, after all that, we do not end in hate?  

I argued that it’s the sort of relationships that other people know is deep. Strangers may think we are mismatched lovers or family. We ooze love when we are all together. 

That is how much they love me and I them. We are honest with each other. With me it is about what you see is what you get.

“That is just madness, darling”, I heard my own voice speaking in that droll, contemptuous fashion. The voice I hate. The voice I use when people speak in fake accents or say ‘anywayz’ or use multiple exclamation marks. The voice that smokes a cigarette from a cigarette holder and has red lips. “In the real world that is not normal. Honesty has no place in relationships. Remember Adam’s Curse? We labour, that’s all. Who wants to see your tears or your laughter? Who really cares when they ask ‘how are you?’ God forbid, you really told them. In the end, it’s all hollow. It’s not love they are offering you. It’s pity. Or you are feeding each other’s needs at the time. And him? He won’t leave you even when he wants to because he pities you. That is not love. Hate would be better than condescension, than indifference. You know that.”  

And the voice stubbed out that imaginary cigarette.

We sat grown quiet at the name of love.
In the trembling redness of my lips, we made a bad joke.
We are bi, you know that, right?
Bipolar. Yes. Or something like that.
We laughed. Me and I.
It was tinged with despair that twin laughter of ours. 

Weary-hearted, we concluded it would be best if we cried.
And so we did.

Disclaimer: This is PMS/drug induced, hallucinatory, on-the-verge-of-drifting- off-to-sleep writing.

Advertisements

About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
This entry was posted in Blue Funk, In Sickness and In Health. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Adam’s Curse

  1. Arun says:

    @ “God forbid you really told them” – ha ha! have done that a couple of times. It can be unnerving 🙂

    Adam’s curse – lovely poem! One question – last line of 2nd stanza – “Yet now it seems an idle trade enough”, what’s he referring to?

    Like

    • Totally. I can quite imagine that. Though to be fair, my friends actually listen.

      Yeats was desperately in love with Maud Gonne. But it was one-sided. The two women he has written about in this poem are Maud and her sister. He used to court Maud in the old, grand style of courtship with poetry. But she could not/would not return his love. So that’s what he’s referring to. Love is meaningless no matter how highly, nobly, chastely, or purely you may have loved someone. At the end of the day, all lovers are necessarily disillusioned. Love is just an idle trade.

      Like

  2. Marvin Grey says:

    BFF. I feel I am the best company I have ever had too. Me, I, you and her should get together more often.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s