Family Politics

In other news, there was a get-together with the maternal family. At this stage in everyone’s life in the maternal family, two groups have been created – the ones who are friends with the Big-on-Gold Aunt and the others who aren’t.

Big-on-Gold Aunt’s husband is a noted astrologer who even advised my mom when to have her baby (meaning me). Considering the way my life has turned out with all its health problems and lack of groom at 28, my mom thinks that Big-on-Gold and husband schemed to get her a child who would know no happiness and would cause her immense grief.

I honestly blame my mom for bleddy believing in astrologers in the first place. But she thinks, what she thinks; and in spite of telling her that it’s her own bloody idiocy for asking/listening in the first place and that she cannot point fingers now – it’s a moot point. She will not listen. My mom’s big into stormy emotional drama at times like these. She says how unless I have my own child, I will not understand the pain. And when I said, see all the more reason not to marry/have a child, well; she wasn’t amused in the least.

So when we were in my cousin’s place the other day, my mom told my oldest Aunt – let’s call her Big-on-Hyperbole – about how upset she is that my life has turned out the way it has.

Big-on-Hyperbole said, ‘Did you not show her horoscope to any one?’
Mom replied that she had. ‘All of them say it’s this dosha (fault) or that one. And now, the new trend is to say it’s because of our past-life.’
Big-on-Hyperbole said, ‘Yes, it could be one’s past-life. After all, not everyone has a good past-life. I think Big-on-Gold and I were very fortunate, but…’
And now that angered my mom terribly. She said, ‘Don’t talk to me about Big-on-Gold. I sometimes think it’s all her fault.’ And then she narrated the whole pre-birth drama and the way these predictions and involvement with Big-on-Gold Aunt turned out.
Big-on-Hyperbole said, ‘No, no, don’t say that. Big-on-Gold is a ‘devi’ (Goddess); nothing less than a Goddess! (Big-on-Hyperbole and Big-on-Gold have recently rejoined forces after a cold war that lasted over 2 and a half years; so the love, it overflows now!) She single-handedly brought you and your younger brother up, didn’t even take any money from anyone! (My Uncle’s sotto-voce – she got two great slaves for nothing!) Do you know how much she suffered? Do you know how much she still suffers? Her suffering is very great! We cannot even measure it; that’s how great her suffering is! So we must stop all this now! She and I, we don’t have long to live anymore, you know? Not long at all! How many years do we have, do you think? After all, may be another 10 or 15 years!’

So my mom got damn pissed and realized she wasn’t getting a listening ear, much less any empathy there and decided to talk about other things.

My cousins and I heaved sighs of relief. We all thought it was over.

But at the recent get-together Big-on-Gold suddenly came over to where my mom was standing and started a speech –

‘My husband, no, he’s been invited by all these TV Channels to come and talk about astrology. Even a Telugu channel wanted to cover him. We said no, nothing, doing! These days, no, if something doesn’t turn out right for someone, that’s all, ya, they just call us on the phone and start yelling! Who needs to be yelled at by fools, you know? I mean, it’s not like we don’t have money or anything. Anyway, I’m off now. See you.’

My mom couldn’t even come up with a good repartee (as Big-on-Gold expected). My mom is good at stormy emotion with people like me and my good cousins; but when it comes to a full-on encounter with either Big-on-Hyperbole or Big-on-Gold, my mom is absolutely helpless – worse than a new-born babe.

And that’s that. Score again for Aunts United.

Another learning lesson on playing Kannadiga family politics for young Bhumika!


About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
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8 Responses to Family Politics

  1. Finally! After much trial & error I have been able to log in & comment on your blog! I completely & totally empathise with you! Astrology is overrated & at times, absolute rubbish! Why, oh why, do the mothers believe in it?!?!Sanchita


  2. Hello and welcome Sanchita. 🙂 I can't not believe in astrology – my family is replete with astrologers. LOL. The problem here is how siblings and soaps are related. 🙂


  3. Marvin Grey says:

    You are being harsh with your mom. I get angry only when my mom says she is going to tell them off. Talks all day about what she will tell them. Sometimes, even I get caught up in it and end up screaming hallelujah (its a strange thing to say in my house). But when the opportunity presents itself, she doesn't. Surely, you can see that my mom is worse.Astrology is not exact science. You could even say that Astrology is to science as Santa is to children. When on occasion it strikes something metallic, it looks like there could be something there. As far as past life goes… Here is my take on it. Several years back, our family friend's son was involved in a road accident and suffered serious brain damage. Today he is like a child and strapped to a wheel chair. When I last saw him, he seemed to recognize me. His family wanted me to hang around. To this day, I don't know what made me make an excuse and walk way. I knew minute I walked out I had committed a sin. I wish I was courageous enough to go back but I was too ashamed of myself. A year later my father suffered a semi paralytic stroke. Coincidence? May be. But I have seen too much of it to ignore. I strongly believe, the good lord is not into sitting around passing judgments on a bunch of dead people. I think we pay off our debts before we leave. I am sorry about the long comment. I am just pissed with all the doshas being passed around.


  4. MG, yes, your mom is much worse than mine. And I know I'm being harsh with a whole lot of the blood-peoples in this post, but I'm so tired of their asinine behaviour. Ouch, about your story. But see that's the thing – karma comes and bites me in the ass just like this, all the time. But a whole lot of other people – they walk away scot-free. And I don't mind the doshas – the astrologers in family and out of it don't know what to say anymore. Why is she not getting married? The obvious reason is she's not meeting anyone worth marrying – but they can't say that as that's not astrology. So they say, it will happen but later – last birth dosha. It's quite funny.


  5. Renu Sampath says:

    you may be better off being a spinster. your personality may not suit an indian man, most of them.


  6. Renu Sampath a.k.a official gmail blog, you are quite right. An Indian man just won't do it for me. May be if he has balls. But you wouldn't know anything about balls, now, would you? LOL. Just like you don't know spinster is such an outdated word, you wouldn't even call your unmarried grand-aunt that. Well, we live and learn.


  7. P. says:

    That isn't just Kannadiga family politics, dear girl. It's ANY Indian family politics. :DAnd as far as the astrology stuff goes…I don't place much faith in the stuff. But evidently these astrologers know how to captivate our moms. *sigh* Well-written post…I giggled at quite a few parts. – P.


  8. Welcome, P. 🙂 I know it happens everywhere but well… 🙂


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