In other news, there was a get-together with the maternal family. At this stage in everyone’s life in the maternal family, two groups have been created – the ones who are friends with the Big-on-Gold Aunt and the others who aren’t.
Big-on-Gold Aunt’s husband is a noted astrologer who even advised my mom when to have her baby (meaning me). Considering the way my life has turned out with all its health problems and lack of groom at 28, my mom thinks that Big-on-Gold and husband schemed to get her a child who would know no happiness and would cause her immense grief.
I honestly blame my mom for bleddy believing in astrologers in the first place. But she thinks, what she thinks; and in spite of telling her that it’s her own bloody idiocy for asking/listening in the first place and that she cannot point fingers now – it’s a moot point. She will not listen. My mom’s big into stormy emotional drama at times like these. She says how unless I have my own child, I will not understand the pain. And when I said, see all the more reason not to marry/have a child, well; she wasn’t amused in the least.
So when we were in my cousin’s place the other day, my mom told my oldest Aunt – let’s call her Big-on-Hyperbole – about how upset she is that my life has turned out the way it has.
Big-on-Hyperbole said, ‘Did you not show her horoscope to any one?’
Mom replied that she had. ‘All of them say it’s this dosha (fault) or that one. And now, the new trend is to say it’s because of our past-life.’
Big-on-Hyperbole said, ‘Yes, it could be one’s past-life. After all, not everyone has a good past-life. I think Big-on-Gold and I were very fortunate, but…’
And now that angered my mom terribly. She said, ‘Don’t talk to me about Big-on-Gold. I sometimes think it’s all her fault.’ And then she narrated the whole pre-birth drama and the way these predictions and involvement with Big-on-Gold Aunt turned out.
Big-on-Hyperbole said, ‘No, no, don’t say that. Big-on-Gold is a ‘devi’ (Goddess); nothing less than a Goddess! (Big-on-Hyperbole and Big-on-Gold have recently rejoined forces after a cold war that lasted over 2 and a half years; so the love, it overflows now!) She single-handedly brought you and your younger brother up, didn’t even take any money from anyone! (My Uncle’s sotto-voce – she got two great slaves for nothing!) Do you know how much she suffered? Do you know how much she still suffers? Her suffering is very great! We cannot even measure it; that’s how great her suffering is! So we must stop all this now! She and I, we don’t have long to live anymore, you know? Not long at all! How many years do we have, do you think? After all, may be another 10 or 15 years!’
So my mom got damn pissed and realized she wasn’t getting a listening ear, much less any empathy there and decided to talk about other things.
My cousins and I heaved sighs of relief. We all thought it was over.
But at the recent get-together Big-on-Gold suddenly came over to where my mom was standing and started a speech –
‘My husband, no, he’s been invited by all these TV Channels to come and talk about astrology. Even a Telugu channel wanted to cover him. We said no, nothing, doing! These days, no, if something doesn’t turn out right for someone, that’s all, ya, they just call us on the phone and start yelling! Who needs to be yelled at by fools, you know? I mean, it’s not like we don’t have money or anything. Anyway, I’m off now. See you.’
My mom couldn’t even come up with a good repartee (as Big-on-Gold expected). My mom is good at stormy emotion with people like me and my good cousins; but when it comes to a full-on encounter with either Big-on-Hyperbole or Big-on-Gold, my mom is absolutely helpless – worse than a new-born babe.
And that’s that. Score again for Aunts United.
Another learning lesson on playing Kannadiga family politics for young Bhumika!