Fade

The words,
Go.
Oh?
O is right. Followed by N.
Then, E.
One
B
Y
O
N
e.
What’s that word?
Like poof.
Gone.
In those books
You know what books?
The books with pictures.
For children usually.
Comics. Yes. Like comics.
O gods.
It’s such an easy word.
You know, I am actually an articulate person.
See?
That’s a big word.
I used a big word just now.
I know this. It’s a simple word.
You know that’s why this is scary.
I am losing my words.
Can you hear me?
Am I speaking?
See? I can’t tell what’s real.
Everything feels real and unreal.
Like a dream.
No, not a dream.
A a cauchemar
God.
How can I remember a French word!
It started with the spinning.
Then I was in the washing machine.
They told me that I fainted.
A few seconds.
I don’t remember.
I don’t know what is happening.
I want to tell you.
I want to talk to you.
It’s very very frightening.
I don’t know if I am coming
Or going.
But it’s the words.
They are surely going.
Like you have gone away.
Because life is busy.
Work is hectic.
Dates fuck with your life.
New people beckon.
Don’t they?
Till one day.
They just go.
Poof.
What IS that word?
D.
It’s a D word.
Like a thing in a fantasy story.
You know.
That thing. Everyone does it. Easiest thing to do in fantasy.
Trope.
Thank the goddess.
Yes.
It’s a trope in fantasy.
It just goes.
Poof.
This is like that game.
Picture game.
What’s it called, the game?
Pictionary.
Only I am not painting
any pictures
with my words anymore, am I?
Of course I am crying.
I can’t remember my words.
I have lost my words.
My senses.
My sanity.
See. I’m talking to myself.
Am I not?
Because there’s no one else.
Listening.
Listen in.
Listen.
That word.
It’s what’sthatword?
It’s a song.
I am sure of that.
Yes! A Metallica song.
One minute I have them there
And the next
Poof.
They just go.
And all that criticism, you know.
No love.
Just diss.
Disturbing.
Distressing.
Disorienting.
Disillusionment.
Dissociate.
Faint.
Fade.
Fade.
Fade works, no?
It’s a D word.
Fade?
No.

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About Bhumika's Boudoir

I love to laugh, and end up being a part of high drama and stormy emotion even when I don't pursue it. Being creative, and communicating with people get me going. I enjoy all the good things in life especially those that are slightly risque, and apologise little, if ever, for all that I do. Literature is a passion and so is music.
This entry was posted in Blue Funk, Idle Thoughts, In Sickness and In Health and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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